My thoughtful spot

I am a sports car type of girl. I loved my Mustang and, almost a year after trading it in, am still in active mourning for it. I love my Jetta, too, but it’s not a sports car so it’s a different kind of love. I have never wanted a truck or even an SUV. I’m just not that kind of girl.

But for the first time in my life, today I wished I had a truck.

Why the sudden change of heart, you might ask.

I was feeling very pensive and a little blue this evening and needed to go sort some things out in my head. Possibly have a good cry, even. I needed to just sit and think without any distractions – other than Muse, of course.

One cool thing I discovered very early on in Las Vegas is the airport. (Yes, I know. Of all the things in Vegas, I write about the airport.) The neat thing about McCarran International is that on one of the streets running next to the runways, there is a little parking lot where you can pull off and watch the planes take off and land.

I have always loved planes – military, commercial, private, you name it; I love it as long as it’s an airplane. Maybe it has something to do with my dad being in the Air Force; I don’t know. But I love planes.

So I go to that little parking lot to watch the airplanes when I’m feeling sad, pensive, or lonely. It’s therapeutic, really, and after an hour or so of my “therapy,” I’m usually okay.

But today, my thoughtful spot was no good.

There is a ton of construction going down at McCarran and a lot of it is going on at the runways. From my thoughtful spot, all I could see were parked tanker trucks, piles and piles of rubble and building materials, and cranes. Of the few planes landing at that time, the only parts of the planes I could see were the tails. That’s not the tail I want to see. (hah!)

After a few minutes of that, I decided to try my backup thoughtful spot in Anthem. After driving all the way to Anthem from the airport, I was dismayed to discover that my backup has been paved over and made into houses.

What does this have to do with the sudden urge for a truck? I wanted to go into the desert and do some rough driving. I wanted to do what I still call “off-roading”, but what other people call “four-wheeling” or “muddin’.” I wanted to find a new thoughtful spot, or at least a temporary one to stand in until the construction at the airport is done.

Alas, I do not have a truck, but my lovely Jetta and I was not about to take that into the desert. So I have not had a chance to be all pensive and do my thinking, and more than likely, have a good cleansing cry. Gas is still too expensive to just drive aimlessly, and with a potential crying jag on the horizon, I didn't want to be driving and crying at the same time.

Does anyone have a thoughtful spot that they wouldn’t mind sharing until mine’s back? :(

Wanted: One thoughtful spot. Must be Jetta-friendly. Apply within.

Cold Turkey

RULES

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

4. Have Fun!

and here we go.....!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?

“The Metal” (Tenacious D)

Um. Okay. I’m totally going to say that from now on.
“Are you okay, Melodye?” they’ll say.
“The Meeeeehtal, man,” I’ll reply.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

“Underneath the Sky” (Oasis)

This can totally work with the above answer.

Observe:
“Are you okay, Melodye?”
“I’m Underneath the Sky so I’m pretty The Metal today.”
See? It’s perfect.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

“Yeah!” (Usher)

I guess I’m tryin’ to get a little V-I cause on a one-to-ten he's a certified twenty…

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

“Mr. Blue” (Garth Brooks)

Very fitting. It would be even more fitting if it was “Ms. Blue” as I am, after all, a female.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

“I’m All Alone” (Spamalot)

Gah! I hope not!

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?

“Surfin’ Safari” (Beach Boys)

I can’t swim, but okay. Surf’s up dude!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

“Why Should I Be Sad” (Britney Spears)

I hope this doesn’t mean that my friends don’t think I have anything to be sad about.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

“Dinner is Served” (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest)

A hahahahahaha! Oh that is just PERFECT! LOL, it works on soooo many levels!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

“Like a Stone” (Audioslave)

Collecting rocks? Stoning someone? Getting stoned?

WHAT IS 2 + 2?

“Know Your Rights” (The Clash)

There is no LAW that 2 + 2 always has to equal 4, dang it! I know my rights! Good DAY sir!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

“Mickey” (Toni Basil)

I have no idea how this fits my best friends. I don’t get it. None of them are overly made-up 80s cheerleaders.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

“A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall” (Bob Dylan)

I don’t have the hardest life, but some parts have not exactly been the easiest. I have been known to slur my words in a Dylan-esque fashion, too, so I’ll give this the old two thumbs up.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

“Why Don’t We Do It In the Road” (The Beatles)

Does this mean I want to be an exhibitionist??? … Okay, I can dig it.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

“Dancing Queen” (Abba)

I don’t even have anything snappy to say to this. It’s too funny.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

"Unintended" (Muse)

How awesome! I LOVE that song!!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

“I Like That” (Houston)

Does that mean that people will like that I’m dead? Or does that mean that I’ll like that I’m dead? Or will it just be played to get a rockin’ dance party going? Because I’ll come back for that.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

“Do You Sleep” (Lisa Loeb)

I'm clapping right now. iTunes has hit it right on the head with this one: I do like a nice long nap.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

“Wrack My Brain” (Ringo Starr)

This is true: I’m deathly afraid of terrible disco songs by former Beatles. Get it away, get it away!
(Sorry Ringo. You’re still my favorite Beatle. But this song is truly, madly, deeply terrible.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

“Flaws and All” (Beyonce)

This one I have no arguments with. I AM a TOTAL biz in the morning. And during the day. And at night.

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

“Who Feels Love” (Oasis)

Who couldn’t use some lovin’??

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

“Enter the Circus” (Christina Aguilera)

It’s like iTunes…KNOWS me or something.

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

“Cold Turkey” (John Lennon)

Rock on, brotha man.

(Once again, I take the easy way out and avoid doing a real blog.)

Things I have done during my lifetime

This is an incomplete list, as I fully expect to accomplish more of these in my lifetime.

Things you have done during your lifetime (plus comments, as necessary):

(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Donated Blood
(X) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
(X) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
( ) Ran out of gas while driving
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Broken the law
( ) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost
(X) Gone to Washington, DC
( ) Hugged a homeless person
(X) Swam in the ocean
( ) Swam with Stingrays

(I don't know that I want to, after what happened to the Crocodile Hunter...)

( ) Been sailing in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Lived in more than one state
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Done a back flip on a trampoline
( ) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Gone on a diet
( ) Ran a marathon
(X) Made a life-long friend

(I hope that I have. I haven't exactly finished living my life yet, so I don't know who is lifelong and who isn't...)

(X) Sang Karaoke
( ) Volunteered at a soup kitchen
( ) Been ice fishing
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
( ) Seen the Northern Lights
( ) Been Parasailing
(X) Been on TV
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) Learned to play an instrument well

(I was excited until I saw the "well" part)

(X) Made prank phone calls
(X) Fallen hopelessly in love
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) Fed an elephant
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Had a child
(X) Fired a gun
(X) Danced in the rain
( ) Been to the Opera
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Serenaded someone
(X) Seen a U.S.President in person
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Been to Africa
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
( ) Driven a race car
(X) Been to a National Museum
(X) Dyed your hair
(X) Been to a Wax Museum
( ) Seen Mount Rushmore
(X) Eaten caviar
(X) Broken a bone

(Just toes. Nothing too serious - which is surprising, as I'm a world class klutz.)

(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
( ) Been scuba diving/snorkeling
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving

(I TOTALLY want to though!)

( ) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
(X) Learned a foreign language

(It doesn't say fluently!!)

(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
(X) Seen the Grand Canyon
( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( ) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train
( ) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding
(X) Ridden on a San Francisco cable car
(X) Been to Disneyland OR Disney World
(X) Truly believe in the power of prayer
(X) Been in a rain forest

(A Washington state rainforest - it still counts!! It's just not tropical!)

(X) Seen whales in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
(X) Been water-skiing/wakeboarding
(X) Been snow-skiing/snowboarding
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean

(Someday, I will do those things. Someday...)

(X) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game
( ) Been Married
( ) Been Divorced
( ) Swam with sharks

(and I would do that WHY???)

( ) Been White Water Rafting
(X) Seen a Broadway show

(Just not ON Broadway)

( ) Written a book or screen play


I don't really know why I did this and posted this on here. I'm not even going to announce or shamelessly self-promote this entry as I usually do.

I guess I really just don't want to do my homework.

Peace out, yall!

There I go, thinking again...

Here are a few thoughts of mine while I’m writing my special expose’ about strippers. I know you’re all super-excited and can’t wait for that entry, but my dears, you’ll just have to be patient.

1. I was doing a search for a hot picture of Matt Bellamy (that’s redundant isn’t it?? I mean, come on, have you seen the man?! So pretty…) to put as my background on my work computer today and while typing in Matt’s name, there was a Google suggestion of “Matthew Bellamy’s girlfriend.” Me being the naturally curious person that I am – rather like a cat – I followed the suggestion and was somewhat surprised to find that the suggestion yielded truthful results.

Upon viewing said girlfriend of Hottie Rock Star, I had my “aha” moment. Because Chicky-babe is SUH-MOKIN’ hot. (I am comfortable with my sexuality to be able to appreciate another woman’s smoking hotness.) My surprise vanished and I was left temporarily heartbroken.

Why was I heartbroken, you may ask? Surely Melodye, you should know that the chances of meeting a celebrity are slim and the chances of dating said celebrity are even slimmer, you might say. I’m well aware of the practically non-existent odds, okay. I’m not NAÏVE. (Maybe I am, a little. But I think it could be endearing.)

It’s just…well, I don’t think I’m alone if I say that I have this fantasy of meeting one of the men on my List, him falling truly, madly, deeply in love with me and ditching his model girlfriend and running away to Paris with me. I think a lot of people have that fantasy about the people on their Lists.

And PS: why do ALL of the men on my list have model girlfriends? That must be proof of my extremely good taste in men. (Don’t look at me like that. You knew going into this that I have a big ego.)

Sigh. C’est la vie, right?

2. Who came up with the idea of making the response to an error message be “OK”? What if the error is not okay? It is not okay if Internet Explorer suffers a fatal error and has to shut down. It is not okay if my computer has to restart because of something that the software did. And it is NOT okay if Word stops responding and I lose my midterm paper after being up all night working on it. (And don’t give me that “you should save every 5 minutes” crap. That’s what auto-save is for. Bite me.)

I think a more appropriate response to an error message would be “Fine.” Why “fine” you ask?

Well, as I have mentioned before, if someone (especially a woman) says they are “fine”, that means that they are the exact opposite of “fine.” “Fine” really means “Bob, get the kids into the minivan because the world is about to come to an end.” Hearing someone say that they are fine should get your spider senses tingling and your self-preservation instinct should be set at “flee”.

If my extensive and ridiculous hyperboles have failed to drive the point home to you: “Fine” means DEFCON One. (Cue the scary music: dun dun DUN!)

That is why, my pretties, “Fine” would be a better error message response. This way, the computer knows that you’re pissed off; but you know that there’s nothing you can do because the computer’s going to do whatever the hell it wants to do regardless of your feelings.

I think that Microsoft and Apple should consider my idea. It would be an improvement. I'm waiting for their calls.

3. I feel like I should clear something up after that last point. Saying that someone is “fine” is perfectly okay. That is a compliment. Compliments are good. Should I use it in a sentence for you so you understand? Okay. I can do that.

“Melodye, you are FINE.” Or: “Melodye, you are a fine example of womanly beauty.”

Do you see the distinction? Good. Those are excellent examples of “fine” usage.

4. My ten-year high school reunion is coming up. I don’t feel like that can possibly true. I swear to you that I was just walking across that stage, getting my high school diploma, and screaming with my friends.

Am I going to my high school reunion?

Is the Pope Jewish? (HAH! You thought I was going to say “Catholic” didn’t you. Psyched you out, sucker.)

No WAY am I going to that. Why would I want to go back and see all the people that used to make fun of me? I got made fun of a LOT in high school.

But Melodye, that was ten years ago and you’ve changed – heck, they’ve changed! You could say that. You could be right. I should probably just get over it. Forgive and forget.

I’m not going.

5. I just saw a commercial for the DVD release of “Twilight.” Wal-Mart is making a big deal about having the movie available for sale at 12:01 am on March 21st. Now, okay. (Fine. Hehe)

I enjoyed the movie very much – I was there for the midnight premiere the day it opened in theaters. I was crazy exhausted at work the next day, but it was SO MUCH FUN. I went and saw the movie again, the night before Thanksgiving. (I did have some issues with the movie but that’s not the point of this.)

However.

I find the attempt to recreate the same hype and excitement for the DVD release as was created for the theatrical release to be lame and pathetic.

There. I’ve said it. I regret nothing!

The most wonderful time of the year...

These are on sale!

I LOVE this candy.

It only comes once a year for Easter and then the government takes it away again. We'll all be depressed and it will be a sad day when it's gone, although not so much for me because I usually stock up on this fantastically amazing candy. So I'll be eating the candy of the gods in August, while dear reader, you will be despondent because you, like the idiot grasshopper, did not hoard your supply for the long, dark winter.

And don't think I'll be like the benevolent ants in that story or whatever those nasty bugs were. Oh no.

To quote Jack Handey: Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest so will I 'swarm about' to protect my nest of chocolate eggs.

Buy your own Mini-eggs. These are mine.

It's The Most Wonderful Time
It's The Most Wonderful Time
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Yeeeeaaaaarrrrrrrr!

My love-hate relationship with Facebook...

Melodye is on the phone. 11:30 am
Melodye is eating lunch. 12:33 pm
Melodye is at work. 12:36 pm

I’m not going to lie or front: I love Facebook. I’m so addicted to it. I’m constantly checking my account to see if anyone has messaged me, commented on my status, or written on my wall. I love that I have been able to reconnect with my cousins whom I rarely see and friends from different eras in my life. I enjoy seeing pictures of children, spouses, pets, and fun places people have traveled to.

Pretty much my only beef is this. There is a plague running amuck on Facebook.

It’s called FISUD: Frequent Inane Status Update Disorder. It should be added to the ICD-IX soon. (look for it.)

I’m sorry, but I do not need to know when a person is out of string cheese, enjoying a vanilla-scented candle, or waiting for their BFF to call, all within a fifteen minute period.

Do not think I am exaggerating, fair reader: nay, but I speak the truth when I say I saw that sequence of status updates once upon a Wednesday.

I realize that I’m probably going to get upset comments, maybe even lose some Facebook friends because of this. So don’t get me wrong: I like seeing status updates. They’re entertaining, fun, and a good insight on people.

I’m guilty of inane status update disorder, too. I’m prone to adapt movie quotes or song lyrics and see how many people can figure out what I’m quoting.

But, correct me if I’m wrong: I think that maybe, just MAYBE there is a difference between a movie quote once every few hours or more, as opposed to “Melodye is eating a muffin,” followed closely by “Melodye is flossing her teeth.”

Right?

I need to get back to my paper about strippers and my adventure going to the strip club for a school project. Which, now that I think about it, may be worthy of a blog write-up soon. I’ll get on that. Really.

Tomorrow’s status update: Melodye has been tackled by the Hulk and put in a sleeper hold for making fun of FISUD-afflicted Facebook friends.